a change of pace...

this is really more a post to appease M. in her boredom in front of the computer screen but anyway...

well, i left my job yesterday. it was a good move but i can't help but feel some guilt about it. suppose no one likes making enemies and maybe we're taught "you're not supposed to leave your job." but it was time. i got a call from my boss saying i was asked off one of my cases because the teacher said i was hardly there (not true) but i know she was pissed because i wasn't being what she wanted me to be, an aide in her classroom. our boss has had the general inclination for awhile that we, my friends and i that are employed there, are in a cult and has had it out for us. with bad management, bad communication and bosses who only saw me a handful of times but still made employees on the receiving end of their mistakes and mood swings, yesterday was my last straw.

so now i'm home, still sick and in my pajamas and trying to figure out what's next. i can get a good job probably somewhere else doing the same things i was doing for my other job only full time with benefits, but a large part of me wants desperately to be able to find a way to do threenails full time. i don't want to take a job when i think there's the possibility of it, but maybe this is the phase of my life where i have to put my time in before i can be ready to do what i really want to do. i wish i could feel released by making this decision. more free. but instead i just feel heavy hearted, maybe it just takes some time. well, i'm going to go find something to do with the rest of my day.